Wednesday, April 8, 2009

we're having a baby

So we are now 4 months from having a baby and the reality is starting to hit me. June and New Baby will be 2 1/2 years apart, which is close for us (other spaces being 3 1/2 and 4 years), so I'm turning to you who might be more experienced in less-than-3-years spacing with some key questions:

1. Should I try hard to get June potty trained before the baby comes? She is not very interested yet.

2. Do we need to move June out of her crib before the baby comes? I figure he can sleep in the moses basket and pack & play for at least a year, right? so there's not necessarily a huge hurry to free it up.

3. Should I try to ween June of her 1 bottle before bed at night?

4. Do we need to get rid of the pacifiers? They're really only relied upon for sleeping, although she'd love to have them 24/7.


She's the best sleeper we have, so I'm reluctant to mess with anything related to sleeping, but will I regret it later? Or will she revert anyways so why go through the hassle now?

Opinions? Experiences? Is there a "right way" to do any of this stuff?

12 comments:

Stephanie said...

Although I only have 2 kids total, they are close enough that I have opinions.
1. no - don't rush her - it only makes for more accidents.
2. no don't rush her out of the crib.
3. no.
4. no.
that was easy...
xo's

~j. said...

All my [living] kids are 2 & 1/2 years apart, except for the last two, who are 18 months apart, so I've got a bit to say about this:

1. No. If she's not interested, it will frustrate her AND you.

2. You don't need to, but I recommend it. All my kids were in their own bed before the baby came. It will help the transistion to help her know that she's the Big Girl and not The Baby, rather than her looking at it as the baby taking over her space (so the sooner, the better). We've used both twin beds (with side railings which fit under the mattress), as well as the toddler beds from IKEA. Make it a big deal for her.

3. Yes. Again, it helps for the transition from being The Baby. (At One Year, we go solely with cups any way - the earlier they get rid of it, the better.)

4. I'm torn on this one. It really depends on how much you want her to be rid of it. Will she be jealous that Baby gets to have his as often as he wants, while she only gets hers at bedtime?

Our experiences: We had our oldest throw hers away before her third birthday and it was HELL for her (and us). Curly didn't take one. With Superstar, we just explained that it was time to give them up and she agreed (!). In Bubby's case, I wanted him to be rid of them in order to try to get his speech moving along, so when, shortly after his 2nd birthday, he threw a tantrum and chucked his binkies behind the couch, I shrugged and told him they were all gone. He was mad, but in less than a week's time he was fine, and he didn't even try to take Atcha's binky from her.

If you don't mind her having it, I say don't worry about it, but do know that the longer she has it, the more difficult it may be for her (and you) to get rid of it. On the other hand, she may be more than willing to get rid of it while she's revelling in her Big Girl status.

********
You're the mom and you know best. I can't wait to meet your new guy!

Rachel said...

Hey Sara! I've been stalking your blog for a while now. . . cute family! My only advice is to make sure the pacifier you get for the new baby is different than hers. That way she won't think "what's mine is yours." and when you do get rid of hers, the new babies will be completely different and she won't be so tempted. That made it easier for our two sets that were close. Good luck! Four is fun! (but a little crazy!!!)

Anne said...

ok---sy and soren are 2 years and 4 months apart and i definitely have some opinions.

1.i would for sure stay away from the potty training until june is interested. it will be so stressful if she's not ready---it's stressful enough even when they are ready.

2. there is no need to get her out of the crib yet. my boys were both in cribs until way past the age of 3. mostly because i am a sleep nazi. my boys were great sleepers and nappers and i wasn't willing to play the "get back in your bed" game with them until they were older---and i never really had to because they were older. sy never tried to crawl out of his crib but soren did at about age 2 so i bought a crib tent, told him he was camping every night and he loved it. we even bought another crib for soren so sy could keep his. we have an extra one if you ever need it.

3. i would try to get rid of the bottle. she can always have a sippy cup of milk before bed.

4.i wouldn't worry about the pacifiers---especially if they are only used for sleeping. sy didn't use one but soren's we kept in his crib and he only used it to fall asleep. eventually we told him it was giving him owies (because it was making his chin really dry and red) and we didn't let him have them and he didn't even care. i know most kids care a lot when the pacifier is taken away but there are fun ways you can talk her into it---like sending it to grandma and having grandma send a present back in return. that's what my sister did.

those are my thoughts!

Ie Li said...

I don't think there's any right way to do it, but here's what I think:

1. Not until she's interested and ready.

2. Keep her in her crib for as long as she will stay in it.

3. No.

4. No.

I don't have any experiences with kids attached to pacifiers or bottles at night so I don't have much to say about that.

Michelle said...

My opinion:
1. Don't potty train her until after the baby... and when she starts showing signs. Ella and Matthew were 2 1/2 yrs apart and that is what I did with Ella. She was ready to potty train when Matthew was 4 months old.
2. I did move Ella from her crib before Matthew came. I was worried she would feel that he took her bed. We made it exciting to be in a new bed with Dora sheets! She loved it and moving her to a bed was no big deal.
3. I would try sippy cups instead of a bottle. I would think she is old enough to do only sippy cups.
4. I have no idea about pacifiers because Collin is my first to take a pacifier. Chrsity had a hard time with her older one taking the baby's ALL day long. It was funny to us- but not to her.

Nicole said...

We had these "issues" when we had our second child. Our girls are 2 1/2 years apart as well. Our dr. told us not to change anything major because she would just revert.
1. So she was not potty trained.
2. she wasn't out of a crib
3. she still drank milk off and on
4. she still had her pacifier
Once thing settled down after having the baby(almost a year ago) we have started on most of these things and have had success. The one that has been the hardest was getting her out of the crib,so we got another one from a friend and converted the older daughters into a toddler bed that has worked.

You have to do what is best for you and not worry about everyone else opinion. Congrats!!!

Annee said...

Four months is like an eternity for 2 year-olds. So you have lots of time to make any changes you want to. But if you don't want to make any, you'll make them later, you know?

Bottles are annoying, that's the only reason I'd vote to get rid of the bottle. But the crib, that's not annoying, and it keeps her contained and helps her sleep well. Why get rid of it? Henry slept in his until he was like 3.5. As long as she's not climbing out of it.

I don't know what to say about the pacifier. I made the girls throw them away on their 3rd birthday. I feel like that was a good idea. But we didn't have a baby that would have interfered with that program. What if she is always trying to take the pacifier away from the new baby, because you threw all of hers away? That would be annoying. I find 3 year-olds slightly more reasonable than 2 year-olds. When she's 3 and the new baby is 6 months old you might have a better shot at managing all the changes.

You're going to do great!

Annalee said...

I think this would be a good way to get her "to become the big girl" and binkies, and cribs, and bottles are for the baby. just a thought. good luck, I am nervous too!

Karin said...

Funny -I was commenting to a friend yesterday how it is nice to have celebrated a 2nd birthday BEFORE our baby arrives- 26 months between is seeming nice!
Good luck with what you decide - I don't know that you could go wrong, just depends on when you want to fight your battles. We werent' necessarily consistant with our 3 in any of those areas b/c each kid is different in what they're attached to.
Here's to a fun 4 months!

Unknown said...

I am going to be the odd one out...I say if June shows any potty readiness (like telling you when she's wet) get her potty trained. One less diaper to change! For the rest...let her be. :)

emmy said...

Everyone has something that has worked.

The only advice I was given that I thought worked, was the crib issue. I was told that once you take down the crib, leave it down for a week. June gets her new bed and then a week later, baby gets the crib. Jack seemed a little more okay with the fact that Cash had his crib after that. Also...Cash was in the port-a-crib forever. Jack was great about naps and staying in the crib, so I didn't want to ruin a good thing.

Also, I would agree with most the comments about rushing the potty training before they are ready. It was just a lot of wasted time, money and effort to realize Jack was clearly not ready.

I am still wondering how anyone potty trains their kid.