Saturday, November 21, 2009

good kids

Last week on Friday I picked the boys up from school and didn't want to go home. The house was clean and I wanted to keep it that way. Plus I didn't want the arguing and tv watching that inevitably come from the boredom of being cooped up inside now that the weather's getting colder. I tried to think of errands we needed to run or easy places to go. Brenden suggested we should go to the Living Planet Aquarium in Sandy which was a rather random idea but they were excited about it and it sounded somewhat cultural or educational or of redeeming value, so I said OK. It was rather out-of-character for me to agree to an outing such as this without more consideration and procrastination and putting off, which caught the kids off guard and made them rather giddy and super nice and cooperative. Of course we've been to some fantastic aquariums and this is no Long Beach/Monterey/Sea World. But it was quite nice and we had a really great time together. I especially loved seeing the octopus up close and the kids loved the shark tank. But mostly I was overwhelmed with the feeling that I really like my kids and really enjoyed spending time with them and being all together.

Today I informed the kids we were doing errands all day, which was met with the usual round of moans and groans and complaints. We promised a trip to In-N-Out for dinner at the end of the day, as well as a few treats along the way. We went to the knitting store, the bank, the landscaping store, to the upholsterer's store, to home depot, all 3 kids got hair cuts, to the consignment store, and to Ikea, and managed to cross off all but one thing from my todo list. It was a remarkably productive day. But the most remarkable part about it was how nice and pleasant every child was all day. There were very few tiffs or complaints. They got along quite well, were helpful, and were really nice company to have along. Again I was reminded of what good kids we have and what a blessing it is to be their mom and get to spend time with them.

One day this week we were at the mall (looking for a lava lamp for Brenden) and as we were leaving around 6pm the scene wasn't pretty -- June and Huck both screaming as I fastened them into their car seats, cold, hungry, you get the picture. At that moment a disheveled looking man came by and asked for a dollar and I kind kind of snapped at him and he walked away. Once I got everyone settled into the car I felt bad so I pulled out a dollar and drove over towards him. Brenden looked at me with confusion and shock in his face and asked, "are you giving him a dollar?" and I told him I was and then he paused as if he didn't know what to say and finally stammered out "that's so.... NICE!" We handed him the dollar and as we drove away Brenden was all giddy and told me in that silly voice 10-year-old boys don when they're feeling good inside "now you can add a warm fuzzy to your jar" (a reference to that talk by President Monson in Conference where people did good deeds for his birthday present). I realized that me snapping at and dismissing the man didn't phase my kids, but me turning around and doing something nice really shocked them, and that perhaps this wasn't the best example to be giving them. So I really need to work on being nicer to strangers more often. Lesson learned.

The other day I was reading my SIL Ana's blog and she was describing some experience she'd had with her 3-year-old son. He is her little buddy and they share everything - go places together, tell jokes to each other, know each others likes and dislikes, etc. It made me a little nostalgic for the period in my life when Brenden was my only child and he was my little buddy. With one child I didn't necessarily feel like I had to completely change my life around - so he'd tag along with me to band shows, to work, to church activities, to lunch with friends, as well as the kid stuff we added - touring construction sites, story time at the library, walks around the neighborhood.

Now he has become my most helpful right-hand-man. He's smart and capable and willing and funny. He can carry the baby when I need to carry June. He can google an address on my phone while I'm driving. He can work any DVD player anywhere. He can buy things all on his own. He can cheer anyone up. And he surprises me all the time.

I've shared my thoughts on school pictures before. I don't put much stock in them. We don't dress up. I buy the cheapest package. I know they'll be bad and posed and boring but they do act as a chronicle of sorts. Brenden brought these pictures home the other day and excitedly showed them to me and said, "Look, I finally took some good school pictures!" Who knew he noticed or cared or knew what good pictures look like?! I think it's a sign he's getting older and more self-aware, which is exciting and a bit sad.

Yesterday he rode his bike to the BYU Creamery and then said he was going to his friend's house. Without me suggesting it, he bought sodas and chips to share with all the kids who he knew would be there with his own money. Wasn't that so thoughtful?!

Then at 5pm he stormed in all mad and ran right up to his room. Apparently there had been some hurt feelings at the friends house and Brenden was really upset. I tried to talk to him, told him I'd talk to the friends mom -- wanted to help him feel better. A few minutes later he came downstairs all cheered up and ready to re-join the family and he told me he had called his friend to tell him he had hurt his feeling and the friend had apologized and said he'd never do it again. I was so impressed at how he handled that. I know most adults wouldn't confront it head-on like that (myself included!). We'd let it fester and take root and end up making a bigger deal of it than necessary. But he cleaned it up within the hour and has moved past it now.

Anyway I just wanted to remember some of those experiences and celebrate the fact that we are blessed to have such great kids. I am so proud of the people they are growing in to, and so lucky to be their mom.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

accessories

Here's June getting ready for church on Sunday.


Here's June doing some dancing this morning.
As you can clearly see she's honing her accessorizing style quite nicely.


And for the ultimate accessory...

Monday, November 9, 2009

Halloween & stuff

We had a mostly fun Halloween. There was great preparation and anticipation for the day, but when it came right down to the main event, we did have a few glitches.

Glitch #1: First there was the costume parade at school, which Oliver refused to participate in. He did want to wear his costume, but sat with us in the audience while we watched the kids file past. Not too big of a deal. Brenden looked great as Johnny Napalm from Guitar Hero (a recycled costume from 2 years ago, but never before worn to school).
Glitch #2: Brenden didn't like all the face makeup this costume required, so the next day at about 2pm he decided he'd rather be Slash (you know, from Guns N' Roses, but also from Guitar Hero) and being the accommodating parents that we are Scott and I are driving around town from store to store calling each other to report "ok I found the glasses did you find the wig?" type progress. But ultimately we found it all and he looked great and was quite happy with his getup.

Oliver's the guy who gets the Halloween catalog in the mail 2 months early and spends hours and days pouring over every page, circling the ones he likes and then ranking them with a star system to ultimately select the perfect costume. This year it was a black & red ninja. He loved it.

June didn't get the concept of Halloween so I got to pick for her. I tried to make it something practical that she would have fun using for dress-up so we settled on a princess. I still feel great guilt that for my only daughter's first princess Halloween I didn't sew her something special. But I have to accept my limitations at this point (read: 3 month old baby).

Glitch #3: Saturday afternoon the boys were killing time until we could go trick or treating by driving their big remote control car in the cul de sac. It was Brenden's turn and, as one might have expected would eventually happen to an RC car driving down the middle of the road, it got run over by a car, and got totally demolished. Both boys came running in the house completely hysterical as if they'd just seen their lives flash before their eyes. It took quite a while to get them calmed down.

Glitch #4: Scott found one of those videos where they lull you into a false sense of comfort and then pop up something startling and scary when you least expect it. He thought it would be funny to share it with all of us but the gag went a bit too far when both boys again ended up completely terrified and hysterically crying with many proclamations of "this is the worst Halloween EVER!"

It was at this point that we canceled the pre-trick-or-treating family BBQ and shifted focus to just doing something fun. So we got the kids ready and headed out to do some trick or treating. That was mostly fun, although Scott was a little disappointed at the boys lack of drive for candy. They were both satisfied and ready to be done when their pumpkins were only half full.

June fell asleep.

A dentist once advised me to just let the kids eat all their candy at once (in 1 or 2 days) and then be done with it. So I tried that this year. No limits. Just get it over with. It got pretty scary there when I woke up to this sight -- June begging me to open the full-size candy bar with her face already completely covered in chocolate. I like Becca's idea (trade candy for small prizes and toys) so maybe we'll try that next year.



















In other news, Huck is 3 months old now! He's smiling a lot, starting to figure out how to use his hands, and is a real snuggler. June is super sweet with him, so now we're trying to figure out how to transfer some of that sweetness to her treatment of her older brothers. She can be pretty rough with them. Brenden and Oliver are both super helpful with holding him or entertaining him when needed. Huck is *starting* to *sort of* * sometimes* figure out what the pacifier is for. We still all dread driving in the car with him.

The boys both picked out new winter school shoes. Brenden picked these crazy multi-color semi-high tops. I don't get it, but he sure loves them. So there you go - just like that I'm the out-of-it mom who doesn't understand kids today and their crazy fashions. That's bogus.














What else is going on?

We've had workmen in our basement for 2 weeks now. I really hope they'll be done by Christmas. I'm excited for some great storage spaces, guest rooms, craft corner, play house, and a family room where the toys and TV noise can (and will) stay. I really hope we'll use it and we'll all get over our sense that it's far and disconnected. In an effort to be economical and do the renovations in a phased approach, we're not doing the bathroom right now, which I'm sure will be annoying for a while. Hopefully we'll be able to do it soon enough.

I've started back to work this week. So far so good. Mom has been helping a lot during the days which is just so great, and my work load is quite manageable and hours very flexible. I'm actually rather excited to work on some new projects and exercise that side of my nerdiness again.

We still haven't nailed down our holiday plans but I'm getting into shopping mode. I'm determined to get it done early (and then stop). I'd really like to find some good service opportunities that we can do as a family. I think we'll try this one recommended by Bethany.

So there you go Brett, Rachel & Annee -- there's your update. Now it's 1:30am and I should probably get to bed.

Good night.