good kids

Last week on Friday I picked the boys up from school and didn't want to go home. The house was clean and I wanted to keep it that way. Plus I didn't want the arguing and tv watching that inevitably come from the boredom of being cooped up inside now that the weather's getting colder. I tried to think of errands we needed to run or easy places to go. Brenden suggested we should go to the Living Planet Aquarium in Sandy which was a rather random idea but they were excited about it and it sounded somewhat cultural or educational or of redeeming value, so I said OK. It was rather out-of-character for me to agree to an outing such as this without more consideration and procrastination and putting off, which caught the kids off guard and made them rather giddy and super nice and cooperative. Of course we've been to some fantastic aquariums and this is no Long Beach/Monterey/Sea World. But it was quite nice and we had a really great time together. I especially loved seeing the octopus up close and the kids loved the shark tank. But mostly I was overwhelmed with the feeling that I really like my kids and really enjoyed spending time with them and being all together.

Today I informed the kids we were doing errands all day, which was met with the usual round of moans and groans and complaints. We promised a trip to In-N-Out for dinner at the end of the day, as well as a few treats along the way. We went to the knitting store, the bank, the landscaping store, to the upholsterer's store, to home depot, all 3 kids got hair cuts, to the consignment store, and to Ikea, and managed to cross off all but one thing from my todo list. It was a remarkably productive day. But the most remarkable part about it was how nice and pleasant every child was all day. There were very few tiffs or complaints. They got along quite well, were helpful, and were really nice company to have along. Again I was reminded of what good kids we have and what a blessing it is to be their mom and get to spend time with them.

One day this week we were at the mall (looking for a lava lamp for Brenden) and as we were leaving around 6pm the scene wasn't pretty -- June and Huck both screaming as I fastened them into their car seats, cold, hungry, you get the picture. At that moment a disheveled looking man came by and asked for a dollar and I kind kind of snapped at him and he walked away. Once I got everyone settled into the car I felt bad so I pulled out a dollar and drove over towards him. Brenden looked at me with confusion and shock in his face and asked, "are you giving him a dollar?" and I told him I was and then he paused as if he didn't know what to say and finally stammered out "that's so.... NICE!" We handed him the dollar and as we drove away Brenden was all giddy and told me in that silly voice 10-year-old boys don when they're feeling good inside "now you can add a warm fuzzy to your jar" (a reference to that talk by President Monson in Conference where people did good deeds for his birthday present). I realized that me snapping at and dismissing the man didn't phase my kids, but me turning around and doing something nice really shocked them, and that perhaps this wasn't the best example to be giving them. So I really need to work on being nicer to strangers more often. Lesson learned.

The other day I was reading my SIL Ana's blog and she was describing some experience she'd had with her 3-year-old son. He is her little buddy and they share everything - go places together, tell jokes to each other, know each others likes and dislikes, etc. It made me a little nostalgic for the period in my life when Brenden was my only child and he was my little buddy. With one child I didn't necessarily feel like I had to completely change my life around - so he'd tag along with me to band shows, to work, to church activities, to lunch with friends, as well as the kid stuff we added - touring construction sites, story time at the library, walks around the neighborhood.

Now he has become my most helpful right-hand-man. He's smart and capable and willing and funny. He can carry the baby when I need to carry June. He can google an address on my phone while I'm driving. He can work any DVD player anywhere. He can buy things all on his own. He can cheer anyone up. And he surprises me all the time.

I've shared my thoughts on school pictures before. I don't put much stock in them. We don't dress up. I buy the cheapest package. I know they'll be bad and posed and boring but they do act as a chronicle of sorts. Brenden brought these pictures home the other day and excitedly showed them to me and said, "Look, I finally took some good school pictures!" Who knew he noticed or cared or knew what good pictures look like?! I think it's a sign he's getting older and more self-aware, which is exciting and a bit sad.

Yesterday he rode his bike to the BYU Creamery and then said he was going to his friend's house. Without me suggesting it, he bought sodas and chips to share with all the kids who he knew would be there with his own money. Wasn't that so thoughtful?!

Then at 5pm he stormed in all mad and ran right up to his room. Apparently there had been some hurt feelings at the friends house and Brenden was really upset. I tried to talk to him, told him I'd talk to the friends mom -- wanted to help him feel better. A few minutes later he came downstairs all cheered up and ready to re-join the family and he told me he had called his friend to tell him he had hurt his feeling and the friend had apologized and said he'd never do it again. I was so impressed at how he handled that. I know most adults wouldn't confront it head-on like that (myself included!). We'd let it fester and take root and end up making a bigger deal of it than necessary. But he cleaned it up within the hour and has moved past it now.

Anyway I just wanted to remember some of those experiences and celebrate the fact that we are blessed to have such great kids. I am so proud of the people they are growing in to, and so lucky to be their mom.